Nothing takes the edge off unemployment like pretending to be a pirate! And no holiday is more fun than Talk Like A Pirate Day! (Well, Halloween is kind of cool, AND you can talk like a pirate on that day too.)
Yes, me mateys, September 19th is just around the corner. In order to prepare yourselves for Talk Like A Pirate Day, we here at La Gringa & Co. (which on September 19th will be called "La Gringa, Arrrgh!") have put together a little primer (say it with a short "i" like the Brits do; it sounds snootier) on how you too can successfully talk like a pirate. (Primers coming soon for pillaging like a Viking; stay tuned.)
First, we’ll start with a short lesson on pirate telephone etiquette. Once you’ve mastered that, you can move onto the basics, also known as "The Five As": ahoy, avast, aye, aye aye (yes, different than aye), and argh! (Note: it is infinitely more convincing if you close one eye and kind of twist up your face when practicing the Five As.)
Okay, now we’re going to teach you a couple of traditional pirate songs. First, the aptly named "I’m A Pirate" song. (You may find this video of George Harrison singing a pirate song helpful in your training.) Then you can try your hand at old fashioned pirate hip-hop.
If you’re feeling really confident, try attending the annual pirates convention. Here you can learn some very important lessons. First, no matter what anyone may tell you, real pirates do not fight with light-sabers, although they may on occasion fight with blow-up Happy Meal toys. The second most important lesson is this: when a ninja comes up against a pirate, the pirate will always kick the ninja’s ass.
